You’ve got to brie ki…
Oh god, please don’t start with the cheese puns.
Why… are you not fondue them?
I’m starting to get angry.
Ok, sorry. So what’s all this about?
Café Rouge, that bastion of bistro-style cuisine in the UK, has created what it’s describing as the world's first cheese-themed hotel.
Sounds fun! Where will the hotel be located? Soho? Mayfair?
Camden… and we should probably stress that it isn’t actually a hotel. In fact, it’s not even located within a hotel. According to reports, the suitably-named Cheese Suite will be in a self-catered apartment complex.
Indeed. It’s been created by Café Rouge to coincide with the launch of the restaurant chain’s new cheese afternoon tea, which features an artisanal French cheeseboard; baked Brittany camembert; and either a croque monsieur or croque portobello mushroom sandwich. The Cheese Suite will be open for 10 nights in total, from 29 January to 7 February. For the first nine nights, those wishing to stay there will have to enter into a ballot, while those staying on the final night will be chosen through a separate prize draw.
And can visitors expect to have a gouda time?
Apologies, couldn’t resist that one
If you’re into cheese you may well get a kick out of the gaudy interior design, which is set to feature cheese-themed furniture, wallpaper and cushions, as well as ‘giant cheese installations’. There will also be ‘cheese boards and crackers galore’; cheesy-scented soap, for anyone who has ever dreamed of smelling like an overripe camembert; and cheese-based boardgames (Connect Roquefort, anyone?). More fun is the notion of a cheese hotline delivery service; although the guests are only entitled to a single use of it during their stay, so be sure to make it count if you do go.
What about if you’re after greater sustenance?
Over the first nine nights, who knows? But Café Rouge says the winner of the prize draw will also receive a £50 Café Rouge Gift Card for a meal for two, which can be used at any one of its locations.
Is there a Café Rouge in Camden?
Well, no… the closest one would appear to be located within the richly romantic confines of Euston Station.